Claire’s perfect wedding takes a horrific turn when her guests start turning into zombies. It’s up to her best friend, Kat and a motley crew of wisecracking misfits to save the day.
Praise for “TBWB”:
“This book really did it for me. I have finally found a situation in which I love wedding details – the author has planned a wedding right down to the bouquet and pink satin bridesmaid shoes, then trashed it all with zombies and a chainsaw. Exquisite! It was a beautiful combination of hum our and zombie horror/action – I would recommend it to anyone looking for a refreshing read with a bit of gratuitous gore!”-Nia Wright
“This is most definitely a book I’d come back to. I recommend zombie lovers to read this, I think many of us especially The Walking Dead fans would enjoy reading about a zombie outbreak at a wedding!”-The Sweet Little
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“Got some fresh ones for you,” the EMT said to the morgue attendants as he brought the sealed black bags into the room. “Wedding guests. This one should be interesting.”
Brody and Cody were the quintessential nightshift science dweebs. They looked like brothers in their matching, black-rimmed glasses and white labcoats. Their rhyming names also didn’t help to quell confusion.
“A wedding? No shit, man. That’s awful,” Cody said.
Brody rose from his computer, where he was watching Return of the Living Dead. “Til death do them part.”
“Christ, man. That was a bad one. Don’t give up on your day job,” Cody replied. “How many of those you got? Please tell me it’s not the whole wedding party,” he said to the EMT.
“About ten right now. There’s more coming, though.”
“Damn. You have any idea what happened to them?” Brody asked, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow in concern.
The EMT shook his head. “Nah, not yet. The cops and coroner are still out there trying to piece it all together. The call came in from the event management at Ridgewood Farms a few hours ago. The wedding was Saturday. To me, it looks like some kind of mass food poisoning, then Jason Voorhees showing up and hacking everyone to bits. There were just bodies everywhere, dude. Never seen anything like it. Just a warning, they’re pretty bad.”
Cody nodded. “Thanks for the word of caution. We’ll get right on it.”
Brody chugged down the rest of his Mountain Dew. “Alright then, let’s get to work.”
They lifted the first body onto the table and unzipped the bag.
“Holy shit! What the hell happened to these people?” Cody asked as he eyed their grayish/green flesh and bloodied clothing.
Brody scrunched up his nose and recoiled. “They smell like week-old, microwaved ass, too. How long have they been out there?”
“He said the wedding was Saturday, so two days. They look worse though, like they’ve been dead for weeks. Smell like it too,” Cody replied, scrunching his nose up.
“What if they have been dead for longer than just two days? Ooohh,” Brody said, moving his fingers ghost style.
Cody gave him skeptic glance. “You’ve been watching too many monster movies, man.”
“Hey, at least I haven’t watched season 5 of Game of Thrones four times in a row,” Brody said and grabbed a scalpel. “Dude, Halloween is next week. Have a little fun.”
“I make my own fun, thank you very much. Let’s bust this lady open. You think she was the mother of the bride or groom?”
Their customer’s decaying corpse was dressed in a gaudy pale pink sequin suit covered in blood.
“Either that, or a recently divorced aunt hoping to score from the free booze and get laid for the first time in ten years,” Brody said in a scientific manner as he cut the clothes and started making the y-incision, only to jump back as he cut into the cadaver’s chest.
“What’s the matter?” Cody asked, looking at him as if he was crazy.
Brody pointed at her with the scalpel. “I think she just moved, man.”
“That’s not possible. You’re probably just tired and seeing things. We’re on hour ten of a twelve-hour shift. It happens. Get back over here.”
Brody stepped back to the table just as the woman rose from the slab, making horrific growling and hissing noises. She lunged towards Cody, who screamed and reached out for help. Brody repeatedly stabbed her in the arms and chest with his scalpel, to no avail. She pulled Cody in closer and took a massive bite out of his shoulder. His flesh and muscle dangled from the bone and he screamed.
“Call the police! What the fuck is happening?”
Brody tossed his co-worker a clean gauze pad for his fresh wound and ran over to the landline to call the police. The reanimated woman continued to gnaw on Cody, rendering the gauze useless. His screams echoed as the woman made him her meal.
“No freakin’ way, dude. That can’t be,” Brody said as he watched in shock and awe as this corpse devoured his colleague.
He dialed 9-1-1 only to be disconnected. He tried again and got through to the operator.
“I’m in the city morgue! You’ve got to send an officer down here now! There’s been an attack!”
“What kind of attack?”
“It’s kind of hard to explain. Just bring in the guys with the guns! NOW!”
Brody slammed down the phone. The woman sauntered over to him, but he managed to escape from her fast enough to grab a brain from an autopsy they had performed earlier, and threw it at her. The organ slapped onto the floor and sounded like a raw hot dog hitting linoleum. The woman picked the brain up — the second course of her impromptu meal — and ripped right through the frontal lobe.
She gobbled up the brain in less than a minute, and turned her attention back to Brody before starting to shamble towards him. He tossed a few chairs over another slab to try and trip her up, but it did little to stop the flesh-hungry monster of a woman. He grabbed a skull saw and cranked it on — the small, sharp blade a last-ditch effort for his own survival. The woman caught up with him and reached out to take a bite, only to have Brody jab the skull saw into her head. She made a shrieking noise as blood, pieces of gray,rotten flesh and chunks of brain cascaded into the air, until she fell back and hit her head on the slab. What was left of her skull exploded like an overly ripe Gallagher watermelon.
Brody pulled the saw away. “Take that, bitch!” He leaned against the counter and caught his breath.
What the hell is going on? Where are the cops?
He heard a noise across the room and clutched the saw tighter.
He turned around just in time to see Cody lunge towards him. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin was gray, and he was chomping his teeth trying to take a bite out of him.
“Holy freaking hell! He’s a damn zombie!”
Brody ran towards the door. He was the type of person who theoretically “lived for this shit,” the type of person who never missed a zombie movie or video game. Even his Kia Soul told the world he “Will break for zombies.”
As his former friend and co-worker bit into his neck, Brody realized he was going to die because of this shit.
About the Author:
She enjoys writing humor, horror, and mystery.
Her first eBook, “The Bride Wore Brains”, was published in October 2015.
Check out her website emilywstringer.com